The Sage Perspective is about accepting what is, rather than denying, rejecting or being resentful. The Sage Perspective is active and accepts every outcome and circumstance as a gift and opportunity. The Sage Brain has five powers to turn their perspective into reality and create a gift out of a tough situation. The Sage Brain takes decisive action when necessary. It moves into action without any anxiety, distress or self-doubt of the Judge or Saboteurs.
Your Sage has five powers and moves you into action using them.
The following is an example of my Sage Brain working for me.
I needed to call my angry family member. My saboteur said do not call, it will be horrible, and you will just get angry. Aware that this was my Avoider Saboteur I did 10 minutes of PQ Reps to help me activate my Sage. Then I thought, how would I turn this phone call into an opportunity? I used my power of empathy. Putting myself in her shoes, I began to understand where her anger came from and knew when I spoke to her, I needed to talk with her using this perspective. I could also use the power of exploration by asking open-ended questions to explore why she was angry. This was an opportunity to begin to understand her feelings and gain insight.
The Judge’s Perspective (Survivor Brain) is all outcomes and circumstances are bad, not gifts, and are therefore legitimate reasons to feel distress. All our distress is self-generated, such as your anxiety, fear, shame, anger, stress, and guilt. All your unpleasant feelings are generated by your Saboteurs. These feelings are never helpful for you to act.
Your Judge’s Perspective has tunnel vision. It reacts to the immediate effect of something, ignoring many of the longer-term possibilities of its impact. Your Judge’s perspective or the Saboteur Brain focuses on the problems rather than finding solutions or opportunities.
The Judge’s Perspective comes from three emotions. The first one is judging ourselves, the second one is judging others and the last one is judging the circumstance. Taking the same scenario from above, I would respond in this way if I allowed my Judge to control my emotions.
I needed to call my angry family member. I was distressed at the thought of making this call. I immediately began thinking that there was no way I could be successful in making this call. I am not good with conflict, and I would just make the situation worse (Judging myself). I also do not want to call her because she is always angry and difficult (Judging her).
How do you shift to the Sage Perspective when you find yourself in a crisis and your saboteurs are supercharged? Positive Intelligence has created the following three Gift Techniques:
- What Knowledge came out of it?
- What Power came out of it?
- What Inspiration came out of it?
The following is a personal example using the three Gift Techniques:
I received a phone call from my sister on Monday morning. She told me Hospice had just visited our father, and they anticipate he will pass away by this coming Saturday. I immediately made an airplane reservation for Wednesday morning, giving me time Tuesday to get my business in order and to pack. Later that night, I received another phone call from my sister who said our dad had passed away an hour ago. When I heard this news, my saboteurs took over. I was angry, disappointed, and sad that I did not get to say goodbye to my father, and I was not there to help my mom. My Saboteur told me I was an ungrateful and bad daughter. The Saboteur voices were overwhelming. Once I recognized that my Saboteurs had totally hijacked me, I did 30 minutes of PQ Reps and then using the three Gift Techniques of Sage, I did the following:
- What Knowledge came out of this situation? I realized that no one knows when some is going to pass away, not even Hospice. Hospice made the best guess how long he would last.
- What Power came out of it? Although I did not get to say goodbye, I would at his service which I knew would make him proud of me.
- What Inspiration came out of it? I recognized that I was a good daughter and my father loved me. He would never have been angry with me if I had not seen him before he passed away.
Some people allow tragic events to define them and victimize them for life. They live and die a life full of resentment and anger.
On the other hand, there are those that choose the Sage Perspective and turn their tragedies into life-affirming events that bring meaning and purpose to their lives. Christopher Reeve (spinal cord injury) and Michael J. Fox (Parkinson’s disease) are two well-known examples.
We cannot control or choose what happens at work or in our life. However, we can choose the impact these events have on us by choosing how we respond. Let your Sage brain control how you respond.
Pick one example in your life that has caused you much distress and anxiety. Think of at least three ways you could turn this situation into a gift or opportunity.
Consider having a free 45-minute coaching session for a transformational coaching experience,
Next month I will identify and discuss the ten saboteurs. Do you like what you see? Want to learn more? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please comment below!
“Positive Intelligence” by Shirzad Chamine or visit their website at www.positiveintelligence.com